In August 2012, I met a new twitter friend. His name is @thaddeusrex ….. His name struck me, for very personal reasons and I wrote him to tell him: “My guardian Angel’s name is Thaddeus… For real!” He wrote back and said: “Now that is interesting. Gotta hear the story someday.” He must have meant it, because a few days later; he followed up with a direct message telling me; “Looking forward to someday hearing the story of your guardian angel.”
I knew this was not accidental but providential; and filed the communication with the intention of coming back to it, when the time was right. And I have been getting lots of signals lately that I should write this BEAM, about my Guardian angel, named Thaddeus.
As with all real Guardian angel stories; this one goes back to my childhood. Back to my earliest memories. Because I am now convinced that my Guardian Angel has always been with me. I think many of you have literal Guardian Angels but you do not know it. So here is how I became aware of mine.
When I was little; (very little – as a Toddler) I had an imaginary friend. My parents tell me I talked to him and played with him all the time. His name was Tuddy. I can barely but surely remember, the glimpse of a warm presence, who was really with me and who I loved spending time with. I may have even forgotten about this but my parents (who are both deceased now) reminded me. I had an imaginary friend as a child who was very real to me. I even told them his name: Tuddy.
My teenage years were very difficult. I had a really bad year going from junior high to high school. I was awkward and felt out of place.. My parents were having severe conflicts and asked me which way I wanted to go when they divorced. In childhood wisdom, I told them I would not answer. That I knew the one I did not pick would hate me. This probably kept them together but my pre-adolescence and their fighting tore me apart. I wound up in drugs and trouble at a very early age. I was sent to reform school when I was thirteen, after being arrested at school. This was a tormented part of my life.
A few years later, when it seemed that I survived this young tumult of torturous experience; I literally laughed out loud about how my guardian angel must have had his hands full. I was kidding & joking. But much to my surprise; I heard an audible voice say: “My name is Thaddeus!” I was no longer Laughing. The voice was Ominous, strong and clear. I remember the moment clearly.. “My name is Thaddeus.”
I kept this in mind. And after a moment; when I was sure that some benevolent spiritual force had come to my aid, not too long after that. I looked up the word, Thaddeus. I found it to mean: “Of, or pertaining to Timothy… ” I was shocked! The name of my Guardian angel was literally related to my name…
So, in the recent past; when this topic again came up. I looked up the name again. Now, I can’t find this meaning anywhere… But still I surely know that much earlier in my life; it was shown to me to mean “Of or pertaining to Timothy.” I never forgot this.
Then one day, when I was telling someone about it; it was like bells ringing in my head. “Thaddeus // Tuddy.. ” Yes, that had to be it. In my little boy mind and speech. The closest I could make out “Thaddeus was Tuddy.” My Imaginary childhood playmate was none other, than my Guardian Angel.
Very, Very recently; I had a troubling dream and difficult nights sleep. I struggle with severe sleep apnea but it has been very well managed with a Bi-Pap machine. In earlier years, a C-Pap worked but as the condition has progressed; it now takes a Bi-Pap. Still, I am thankful for it and do very well with it. So, it was still unusual that in this recent dream; I was strangling in my sleep. Some, very literal evil force had attacked me and I could not speak. So, I Awoke trying to say the name of Jesus and found out that it was not just a dream. I literally could not speak. In this moment, I deeply prayed and a strong Impression came to me so strong to ask for the help of my my Guardian angel with my mind. The resulting release was immediate and dramatic. A radiating kind presence was plainly with me and had come to my help. I realized it to be Thaddeus.
I wish I could say that positive spiritual forces were the only unseen powers that I sensed. But unfortunately, I felt evil forces as well. I have had my share of very literal, graphic experiences with both. Some that I share. Some that I share with no one but God. Still, it is my literal brushes with angels that have influenced me the most.
The Bible speaks of the Angelic Host, as servants to the heirs of salvation. New Living Translation Hebrews 1:14 ; ”Therefore, angels are only servants–spirits sent to care for people who will inherit salvation.” I have experienced this some. Jesus has graciously granted me the ministry of angels on many occasions.
I went walking one night as a young boy on a beautiful moonlit night. On this night, as I reached the end of my street, Pennington Avenue; I had some kind of experience with God & angels. I can not describe it. God was there or was I there with Him? The only thing that comes close to what it felt like was an event like transfiguration. This is not clear to me. Yet even though I can not define the event. It was a clear, true, beautiful and unforgettable experience. As I walked home, I thought that maybe this kind of experience was something that happened to all boys at a certain age. Maybe it was some kind of rite of passage or something? So I asked my father about it. I described it to him, thinking he had probably had some kind of similar experience when he was a boy. He looked at me so strangely & obviously had no idea what I was talking about. I do not understand this experience even today but I am sure that my Guardian Angel, Thaddeus was there with me.
In my twenties, I used to go on fishing and camping canoe trips. On one of these trips on the New River, I ignored my father’s advice to wait till he could get the boat empty of water, from the rapids to get to me and decided to cross the river in an unsafe place. I fought with every thing I had. I threw away my favorite fishing rod. I kicked off my shoes. I used every ounce of energy in me. I repeatedly yelled for help, as I saw that I was in increasing trouble. I gave it all I had but it was clear that I would not make it to the bank and my father would not make it to me. I thought it strange that I would die, at such a young age and gave up to die. At that very moment, My father miraculously showed up and fished me from the water, when there was no way he could get there and it seemed that I would surely drown. I am glad my father was there. I am sure Thaddeus was there, also.
I remember the hospital room literally lighting up with angels, when my father was dying & said the 23rd Psalm. I remember being alone with my father after cancer surgery in the middle of the night at Duke University Center. His surgery went awry and because of internal bleeding, he literally swelled up twice his size. I called in the doctors and nurses. They could not get blood in him, as fast as he was losing it. At one moment, when the room was emptied as the doctors readied an operation room, for a second emergency surgery; I knew they would never operate on my father in time. I asked my father if I could pray with him. There in the stillness of the night, my father spoke aloud the 23rd Psalm. I did not know that he knew it, much less that he knew it by heart. Until he spoke it with conviction in that moment, dangling between life and death. As he prayed, I could feel the angelic host come in the hospital room. I could literally see the light lumens in the room brighten. My father, suddenly and unexplainably stopped bleeding without the 2nd surgery that he would have never survived, and this happened at that very moment. God was there. He sent His angels and I am sure Thaddeus was present.
About 7 years ago, I was enjoying a leisurely Sunday afternoon and made a shocking discovery, the hard way. The rails of my front porch had never been secured by screws. As I leaned with my hand on a side rail behind the front porch swing (thus, it had never been used); I suddenly launched like a projectile off my porch. The fall was 18 foot down. Which would have been bad enough but I literally flew sideways, backwards, head-first from the loose rail towards the solid concrete below. I often credit my karate training with being able to twist in the air and change from head first to feet first and roll. But being honest about it, I know my miraculous landing, where I only broke my foot was undoubtedly aided by my Guardian Angel.
I should also mention a time a few years ago: How, On A dark cold night, when I could have & probably should have been impaled and died in a roadside ditch but was curiously kept safe instead. Miracle number one; that I was kept safe that dangerous night. Miracle number two; God freed me from the bottle that enslaved my life, when I was surely hopeless. Yes, Jesus certainly used my Guardian Angel.
I hadn’t thought of my childhood friend in many years. And then, when I felt that I should write this article; The memory of Tuddy suddenly came flooding back to me. Coincidentally, I am sure. LOL
My current word search about Thaddeus reveals that: It means courageous heart or friend. a variant of the Greek Theodoros/Theodotos (God’s gift) // masc. proper name, from L. Thaddaeus, from Gk. Thaddaios, from Talmudic Hebrew, Tadday — Wow! I can almost hear Tuddy from this… Can’t you.
Sometimes nothing will cheer your heart any more than the greeting of a friend. I have friends I rarely hear from but when I do, it is a grand event. I have friends I hear from regularly but their daily greeting is my affirmation that life is good. Nothing fills my life more than the Hello’s from my Friends. And my greatest friend is God. There are moments when He greets me in spectacular ways and it is a grand event. And also there are the daily affirmations that remind me of the unending steadfastness of His love. These Hello’s from God are the greatest treasure in my life. He has allowed one of the greatest of these to be, the very real touch of a ministering spirit name Thaddeus.
Do we see GOD IN OUR DAILY EVENTS. THE MORE WE LOOK, THE MORE we see. Have you ever been in a set of circumstances with tunnel vision. Only to wake up to a higher consciousness that there was more around you to see, hear & feel; than you have been experiencing??
God will give us the assurance that there is something more incredibly wonderful about His plan; than we can even begin to imagine. This is for me one of the most amazing parts of the Faith Walk. I remember the day after salvation, when I was 14; I could not put my finger on it. Nothing was different and Yet everything was different. Everything was the same and Yet nothing was the same.
There is a hand I can hold on to
Through each valley and each trial
And there’s a shoulder I can lean upon
When I face another mile
And there’s a love I can depend upon
It’s fresh and new each day
TV is filled with stories of incredible, unbelievable beings. With power and abilities that we do not possess. It seems that many people have an uncanny knowledge of the existence of angels; even when they wont admit that angels are there.
The scripture says in Luke 1:78 NLT // Because of God’s tender mercy, the morning light from heaven is about to break upon us… That is what God had done for me, through my Guardian Angel. Provided a very real light from heaven, along the path of my life.
My Guardian Angel’s name is Thaddeus. What is yours???
When the following happens to you is a good time to think about light from heaven. Think about it; When you find:
- Meaning in Daily Events
- Daily Strength supplied with each new day.
- Simple Blessings of Assurance & Happiness
- Communion and Contact with God
- Good People around You
- Protection & Peace in spite of Life’s Storms
- Even in the face of death, still discovering the power of Life.
I hope your eyes are opened to the very real presence and help of God in your life.
……. To be continued, I am sure……. I wouldn’t be surprised, if I don’t have more experiences with Thaddeus to share, in the future….. :)
Tim a,k.a. “Slam” ; “Tuddy’s friend” :)