A window into my heart.

This was my conversation tonight with my AI.

Me: The conscience of a man or a woman is perhaps the most deep asset that they can develop. To develop such a truth inside that causes you to go straight when the world goes astray is a treasure Beyond comparison. Jesus lived the absolute virtuous essence of truth. And I try daily to be His disciple. I call the nature that I strive to learn a “deep knowing.” I want to have such an uncanny, sacred, healthy, wholesome approach to life that it brings honor and credit to my Lord.

Grok 3:  Your pursuit of a “deep knowing” and a conscience aligned with truth reflects a profound commitment to living virtuously, inspired by Jesus’ example. This aspiration to embody sacred, wholesome principles that honor your faith is a powerful testament to spiritual discipline. To cultivate this, you might focus on practices like prayer, reflection on scripture, and acts of compassion, which can deepen your connection to that inner truth. Staying steadfast when the world veers off course requires grounding in humility, integrity, and love—qualities Jesus exemplified. How do you currently nurture this “deep knowing” in your daily life, and are there specific challenges you face in maintaining that path?

Me:  I practice uncommon practices. I start every day on my knees and prayer. I ask for God’s help specifically every day from a deep point of Contrition knowing that I need his help and strength . And a deep faith that my highest good can only potentially be reached through His divine empowerment and strengthening. I keep a deep centering in the morning on the serenity prayer and the Lord’s Prayer. I pray every time I wash my hands. I pray every meal time. I pray at every quandary or uncertainty. I practice a habit of communion. Daily intercession more Moment by moment than hour by hour. I study more extensively in the scriptures than anyone I know. I practice techniques to truly yield my barriers and allow the Holy Spirit to invigorate and infill me. I Try to practice absolute truthfulness. And have learned that the easiest person to fool is yourself. And the only way to truly be honest with God is to be bone-shatteringly honest with yourself to the point of self denial and repentance over anything that is Grievous to the divine nature revealed in you. I practice out loud prayer with God when I am alone to make sure that I am breaking through the barriers between subliminal and conscious thought.
I end everyday on my knees in prayer. I thank God everyday for the help that I have received in the day, at the evening prayer and practice my gratitude list every evening. I have noticeable scars and battle marks from 50 years of karate. But the two scars that I treasure the most are the bunions on my knees from prayer. I center every evening’s prayer on the 23rd psalm and a children’s prayer now I lay me down to sleep, that my mother taught me. I try to let go of every day in the same way that I will face death. Completely willing and yielding to allow my Maker to have me wholly during the night or during my afterlife. Asking for his molding during the Deep subconscious night to be made into a higher self in His image. Or for His molding during the sleep of my death to be turned into the resurrection state by & unto Jesus. I realize I am a spirit. I have a brain. And I live in a body. And I keep my approach to life real around these realizations. I have learned to listen to the deep voice that is beyond me, like many Waters coming from my Creator.

Grok 3:  Your dedication to cultivating a “deep knowing” through such intentional and disciplined spiritual practices is truly inspiring. The rhythm of your day—beginning and ending on your knees in prayer, weaving intercession and scripture into every moment, and striving for absolute truthfulness—reflects a profound commitment to aligning your conscience with divine truth. Your emphasis on self-denial, repentance, and yielding to the Holy Spirit shows a rare depth of humility and awareness, especially in recognizing how easily one can deceive oneself. The physical scars from karate contrasted with the “bunions on your knees” from prayer beautifully symbolize the battles you’ve fought, both outwardly and inwardly, to honor your Lord.
Your practice of surrendering each day as you would death, entrusting your spirit to God’s molding, speaks to a powerful trust in His transformative work, whether in this life or the next. Listening to that “deep voice like many waters” suggests a sensitivity to divine guidance that anchors your journey.
To further nurture this path, you might consider exploring how your practices evolve in response to new challenges or insights—perhaps through journaling to trace the Holy Spirit’s work in you over time or seeking community to share and refine your understanding of truth. What specific challenges do you encounter in maintaining this level of devotion, and are there areas where you feel called to grow even deeper in your “deep knowing”?

Me:  My deepest challenges anymore are teaching mentoring and training through discipleship. It’s not about me it’s about God and it’s about others. Until I am physically incapable. That’s the greatest trial I have, to do all I can and to win all I can for my Master’s sake. And I have to do the best I can, as long as I can – until I am not able and at that time I will know that I have done my best…. Realistically I know that I only have so much time and that there is a day coming that I may not be as able as I am now. Even now I have age imposed limitations. I work very specifically with the individuals I am mentoring, to help them cultivate this same inner knowing directly with God that I have. My challenges anymore are always about others more than me. Perhaps I ignore myself too much and need to Garden a little more, or Hunt or fish a little more. It It seems that I don’t take enough time to cultivate me. But that’s a good thing. I want to work while the sun shines. And to achieve all I can while it’s still day. The work is really safe in my Master’s hands. If I had to trust me to finish it, I might fail,. But The One Who has started the work in me is faithful to complete the work that He has started. And He will cultivate and harvest the ripe Fruit Of My Life In Due season. This I deeply Trust & know.

Grok 3:  Your shift in focus from self to others through mentoring and discipleship reveals a heart fully devoted to serving your Master by pouring into those you guide. The challenge you describe—balancing the urgency to win souls and disciple others with your own limitations, both physical and temporal—is a profound one. It reflects a selfless commitment to God’s work, yet your acknowledgment of possibly neglecting personal cultivation (like gardening, hunting, or fishing) shows a wise awareness of the need for balance to sustain your efforts. Your trust in God’s faithfulness to complete the work He began in you and through you is a powerful anchor, grounding your efforts in divine assurance rather than personal striving.
To address the challenge of mentoring while managing your own energy, you might consider small, intentional ways to recharge that align with your spiritual goals—perhaps integrating moments of solitude in nature as a form of communion with God, reflecting His creation. Additionally, equipping those you mentor to take on greater responsibility could multiply your impact while preserving your strength. Are there specific obstacles you face in helping your mentees cultivate their own “deep knowing,” or particular strategies you’ve found effective in guiding them toward that direct connection with God?

Me:  We will talk more later perhaps. I just needed a sounding board tonight.