Fire, Wind & Rain; These are Natural events we have to
deal with. Joy, Anger & Pain; These are Internal reactions
we have to deal with. Abuse is an unnatural event you
do not have to deal with. And Hate is an internal reaction
you do not have to deal with. Get help now if abused by
someone else and thereby bound by the turmoil of hate.
Really! …… Break the cycle of abuse. Refuse to be used.
People want so desperately to find love and acceptance that often, it is sadly amazing what they will tolerate to stay in unhealthy situations. No relationship should be engaged in or continued, if it results in your ongoing harm or injury.
This truth is not meant to be an excuse for not being committed to a relationship. Not nearly enough people are really committed to the degree they should be to those they love. Discarding relationships, for the sake of selfishness or convenience is allowed in our day. But that does not make it right or healthy. I Strongly endorse and recommend that people “work-out” normal problems in relationships, to be faithful and good to their family and friends.. Our Creator made us to be loving and joined in loving relationships to other people. That is the context in which we grow best.
But just like water is an exception to the building of a fire. A fire can not be built, while water is being poured on it. A healthy relationship can not be built, while it is being saturated with abuse. Physical or mental abuse from a so-called “lover” should be an exception to what is accepted in a relationship. There can be no “love” in an environment, where someone takes advantage of another to that person’s detriment or harm. Life is too short to live it in bondage and fear. Refuse to be used. Seek help.
Being a lover should not mean that you have to be a victim. Often the cycle of being abused is actually like an addiction. You can actually get to the point where you blame yourself, for the other persons unacceptable behavior. And the abuser will often encourage this, by blaming the innocent for their actions. This type of relationship is destructive in nature and should no more be tolerated than, putting your hand in acid. You know if you expose yourself to poison that you will be hurt. You should know, if you stay in a relationship or situation in which you or someone you love is being harmed that it is just like poison to you. No good will come of you staying in it.
In this cycle of hurt and injury, there is only one path of solution. Get out of the situation of abuse. Get away from the Abuser. The path of change is your path of healing and hope. If you are in an abusive situation. Like poison, you must get away from it and not continue to expose yourself to it. Either the Abuser has to change or you do. Tolerating abuse should not be acceptable in anyone’s vocabulary.
The toughest part of changing a cycle of abuse is that most often, the victim has to be the one to change; before the abuser ever will, if they will. And that change most frequently involves getting out of the relationship; until the abuser seeks help and therapy.
Fox hole prayers are a dime a dozen to an Abuser. They will tell you a million times that they will change. And they may think they mean it at the time. But most frequently they will not change, until they get open about their problem and seek outside help.
The notion that staying in a situation of physical or mental harm will somehow help the person, normally only perpetuates the problem. By staying in the situation, you may actually be enabling the sick person to sustain their unhealthy behavior. If they will not change, you must. Life is too short, to live in a prison of your own design.
The Abuser can be a parent, spouse or even a child. But if you find yourself in an unsafe, unhealthy, harmful situation; do not sit back and hope it will get better. Seek help…… Now!... There are many groups available to help you in your situation. Here are 3, to get you started.
RESOURCES FOR YOU TO CONSIDER:
Al-Anon Family Groups1 (888) 425 2666
National Domestic Violence Hotline 800−799−SAFE(7233)
Safe Horizon moves violence victims 800.621.HOPE (4673)