My mother has been gone since I was 24 years old but she remains the single most important influence in my life. I was definitely a mama’s boy. My mother was crazy about me and I was crazy about my mama. I remember winning best dressed contests at school, because my mama had my clothes laid out every day. I remember my mama teaching me to read, before I ever went to kindergarten; no wonder I was good in school. I remember Mama saying “Now I lay me down to sleep, with me every night.” She even forgave me when my hyper energetic little self jumped up from my prayers quickly and broke her nose.
I also remember my mama having a great spiritual change in her life from the time I was 14 until she died. She literally read the Bible cover to cover 13 times in those years. I remember mama forgiving every living soul and learning to live in a sacred holiness that still remains as the major goal of my life.
I remember mama being the cleanest person I ever knew. Nothing was ever out of whack at my house. Mama made daddy move even the refrigerator every month to clean behind it. Mama was passionate about clean and orderly.
Daily tasks that drove some people crazy; mama turned them into a ritual of satisfaction. She got great pleasure out of daily duties. Louise was the chief architect of the joyful power of everyday life. I saw that daily demands which bored lots of people, were celebrations with her. Mama made the everyday, a thing of beauty. She taught me that the commonplace is more miraculous, than mundane.
I remember my mama always being there for me. Even in very hard times like when I went to reform school, as an early teenager and when I went down a terrible road of drugs, alcohol and wrong as a late teen. Mama never supported the wrong I did or me when I did it but she was always there for me to turn to and talk to….
What I remember most was how much my mother loved me. Yes my mother loved me. When she was alive. Everyone knew, if you hurt Timothy Grant Carter; mama was coming after you. Tiny frame or not.
Mama made me feel really special. I always knew she believed that God had created me and called me to do something special. She never let me forget it. She even sewed my name in a verse in the Bible that reminded me that God was going to use my words.
…….Mama liked to be called Louise. She did not like or use her first name Mary. I am not sure why, even today.
Until I die, one of my biggest regrets will be that Mama did not get to see the good I would do with my adult life or my children. This would have meant so much to her and them. I will always feel like it was one of her greatest pains in dying.
Mama walked in such a special surrender to the Lord Jesus in her last days that I could not understand her forlorn about facing the surgery that lead to her death. I now know that she had a private knowledge that she would die and not get to see these things, she so wanted to live to see.
I remember when mama died that nothing would console me. For two weeks all I could do was cry in agony. I could not imagine life without my mother. This world may have forgotten Mary “Louise” Carter. But I never will. Nothing I can say, even comes remotely close to expressing how much I deeply loved my mother and still do today! I love you mama…. Your little boy, Tim. PS. Guess I will say my prayers now Mama, like you taught me to do……… Don’t worry mama, these tears are love tears. I wouldn’t trade them for anything.