Today marks 9 years of sobriety, since my last drink of alcohol.
All things considered, alcohol was the most destructive problem of my life. Some very good friends and 12 remarkable life changing steps helped me recover from alcoholism, which was literally, a hellish personal nightmare.
I guess it was in my DNA, because I can remember stories of the horrors that some of my mother’s brother’s put her through growing up. I vividly recall one of these uncles when I was a child, whom was in and out of prison and whom repeatedly wound up on our doorstep; as a destitute, drunken bum.
Uncle Filmore lost both of his legs in an alcohol induced automobile accident and eventually lost his life, to the dread disease. I have heard it well said that alcoholism is an elevator that only goes One Direction, and that’s down. And I have found, that quote is not an exaggeration.
A program to which I owe eternal gratitude described the awful condition that so many alcoholics sink to: as “pitiful, incomprehensible demoralization”. That was certainly what the disease did to me or should I say; that through it, I did to myself. That’s the worst part of the disease of alcoholism. It’s not something that just happens to us. But something that we do to ourselves, because of what that substance does, to some of us.
At any rate, I would not have admitted it to you (or anyone) at the time, but alcohol was my God. I guess anything that you put in front of Jesus can be a God to you. And I certainly put alcohol in front of everything, including God. But when I quit making excuses, and realized that I was powerless to change the problem on my own; admitted the truth and sought help at all costs. God was right there, when I put Him first, to help my worst weakness be turned into a testimony of His great life-changing strength.
It is absolutely true that God performed a miracle in me. In fact, He not only did the miracle to me but lives the miracle through me, each day. I live in such an honest & real daily communion with my Master Jesus these days, that the hellish abyss I descended to as an alcoholic is only a foggy memory. A memory, I no longer fear repeating. I am truly free by the grace of God. I used to hate the man, I saw the mirror. Now I don’t look as much at the mirror, because life is not just about me. But I’m very truly thankful of what God has done & feel good about myself today.
I have learned that these 12 miraculous steps can help people overcome nearly any type of problem. I feel lead to share from a personal view, how they helped me & can help you. So for 3 years, I have been writing a book of meditations. They are designed to help anyone discover how these wonderful steps can help them find their own recovery; from almost any brokeness.
And so I dedicate the rest of my life
to loving God, loving my wife Dawn
( without whom I would have never gotten sober) & helping others. But from time to time I have to clearly admit the awful condition, from which God saved me. I don’t like to think about it. But Confession can be good for the humility of the soul, as long as you dwell on the good new direction and not the former condition, from which you have been healed. Such a confession reminds me that I can’t do anything, without Christ. And hopefully it says to others, that they can find real answers to their own hurts, through God’s very real love & life changing power.
And so I devote myself anew this day, to Jesus and His will for me. I make lots of mistakes…… But I get a little stronger everyday. So, I started this day just like the first day of sobriety; on my knees, asking God for help. And I will end this day the same way on my knees 🙏 praying, thanking God for the help I have received.
Thus, on this day marking 9 years of sobriety, I give God thanks. And will do the same things this and everyday, as day 1 of my sobriety. And also, I thank you my friends, whom have been a great source of comfort, strength and encouragement to me. Also, as a very dear friend, who helped me in the beginning steps of sobriety kindly & regularly told me: “If no one has told you that they love you today. I do.” I so I say & mean the same to you! I love you.
And I am deeply thankful.