A Healthy Outlook on Life

      My sister passed nine years ago but invaluable lessons she taught me never will. The power of Acceptance and healthy outlook of looking at life as a Patch-Work Quilt are two of these lessons. These principles have changed my life and have the power to change yours.

image of Detra young

                             Detra; when she was very young.

  I think about my deceased sister Detra nearly, every day. I lost her to cancer in 2005.   She battled bravely but did not survive. She was my best friend we shared, laughed, dreamed, cried and worshipped together.

Sometimes, {a lot of times actually}, it takes greater courage to accept a thing than to fight it.  I remember when my sister Detra was fighting cancer; she gave it all she had. While there was still any chance of changing it, she fought with an amazing bravery.  But when the cancer was in her internal organs, lungs and brain; it was plain that she was going to leave this earth realm.

Then, I have never seen anyone have such courageous acceptance. You would probably not know she was sick, until she was hospital confined at the very end.

She held her head high with dignity, found as much joy as she could in her final days and faced her fate bravely.  She helped all those around her accept; what she already had accepted.

     I have learned from Detra’s example. She had  GUTS. She had a rare kind of courageous acceptance.

       Some situations we have to deal with.   They are not going away.  Best way to  cope with them is to accept them and go  on.

Acceptance! Think about that word. Life is easier to handle, when we learn the peace of accepting stuff, we are going to have to deal with anyway.

I am not naturally good at accepting anything. I don’t like to admit it but I usually feel like, if I can fight hard enough or try with enough force that I can change   anything.  [That is ridiculous by the way].

I am only now learning in any real depth the amazing power of that first part of the Prayer of St. Francis. “Lord, grant  me the serenity to accept the things I can not change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference.”

  Another lesson, Among the myriad of powerful lessons my sister Detra taught me, before she graduated from this realm was the wisdom of comparing life, to a patchwork quilt. One of the most gripping truths she ever shared with me. And she shared it with me, in  was the comparison of life with a patchwork quilt.

 On one side, a patchwork quilt is a series of tatters, unseemly seams and motley patterns. Yet on the other side of the quilt, there is a striking array of color, harmony and lovely design arrayed in intricate detail.

Life properly perceived is akin to a patchwork quilt. On one side, it’s disarrayed tatters, challenges and problems can seem like the whole of life is a bothersome sight. Yet life is only realized well, when the beautiful side is considered primarily.

When the color, the wonder, the design, the beauties, the attractiveness and the goodness of life is looked at intensely. Life takes on its truest shade of meaning, dearness and truth.

       We would do well to concentrate on my sister’s lesson in viewing our own lives. Only when dwelling on our blessings; the things of value and worth in our life; can we attract more of the same and build the patchwork tapestry of our lives.

Concentrate on the bright side of your life. That is the best way to achieve the highest potential.- – – Who knows??????  By thinking more about what you have to be thankful for, than what you are concerned about; you may learn that life is more abundant with God’s goodness, than you realize.

patchwork quilt

   One thing that prevents people from discovering and adopting their own exciting sense of mission is that they can not see how it will turn out. Good Vision can not always see the end of the path but it can see the next step. Spiritual mission does not always mean that you see the whole picture but that you have enough faith, to make the next stroke of your brush mean something.

painting brush strokes

We should not be afraid to take the next stroke, just because we can not see how the work will turn out.

     If we see this spiritual mission as the grand work of art, that God means for us to see it as; we will aim to paint our most beautiful creation with the brush strokes of life. My sister Detra was the greatest artist I have ever known. Yet, in comparison to the greatness of her work; she was not greatly known.  … Yet her work grandly changed me and her daring heart, ever willing to design, create and invent was indomitable. Your greatest dream should be to be all u can possibly be and if it is a good dream; you will translate it into action, like Detra did. In the end of life, it may be all that matters.

Detra Smiling in Car

My precious sister Detra, smiling as she fought a fatal bout with cancer.

     I remember that in Detra’s demise in her fight with cancer, she held her head regally high. She demonstrated to me her sense of spiritual mission, even in the end of life. Courage does not always know if it is going to win but if it believes the cause is worthy and the timing right; it fights anyway. She proved this to me and I intend to keep the heart of her lesson, in my own life.

 1 – Live daily in the lessons taught by the Serenity prayer. Learn to have the peace to accept what you can not change and the courage to change what you can.

2 – Make a decision to Look at your existence in its most healthy terms and you will discover more beauty and meaning in your life.

Tim happy

                                Detra’s Brother – Happy!

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About timothygrantcarter

Inspirational Speaker, Sales Trainer, Quaker Minister. Entrepreneur, Outdoorsman and Shotokan NiDan. . Visionary; Maker of original sayings, slogans and giver of spiritual help. "If God has a pulse, then I can feel it."
This entry was posted in Face Page, Faith & Inspiration, GUTS - What is it?, People with GUTS and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A Healthy Outlook on Life

  1. Mike Tyler says:

    Thanks Tim for the great post. Detra was indeed courageous and faced life straight ahead and in the end she faced death the same way.

    • Mike, as her husband who walked that last leg of her journey with her; you would surely know. Thank you for reading and for being such a good friend. I know if Detra can see; she is pleased… Tim

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