The Lord has given us clear instruction to forgive others.
Forgive or forget it. We cannot be walking in a very, intimate and Honest communion with God without it.
MT 6:12 And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us.

The problem is that forgiveness in the deepest sense of the word is Christ’s virtue. Pettiness, vengefulness, deceit And selfishness are characteristics that belong to us without the intervention of Christ. But there is definitely a need for original and ongoing intervention from Christ here. There are times that We may think we are seeing and doing right but there is a deeper way that we can only see and carry out with deep spiritual leadership. A depth of truth and practice only available to us as our spirit communes with His Spirit and we learn the deeper Divine ways, that are beyond us without the inner working of Jesus.

Truthfully, in obedience we can forgive on a conscious level but there are times that we are holding back and don’t even realize it. In times like this, when we come to see that the deep Ways of God are beyond us. The only way to truly get in the Holy Spirit and let the Lord work this out inside us, is to forget about the person entirely and to seek the Lord exclusively & completely. I was at such a Waterloo praying for someone tonight and realized that I was not capable of the depth of forgiveness that God wanted. So, I heard myself praying ; “The Lord will have to deal with him. All I can deal with is the Lord.” And this is so true. Sometimes the Deeper moving of God’s spirit in our lives requires that we receive in a deeper way and means than our understanding can allow.
Romans 8:26 esv says: “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” Wow! That is strong! We don’t even know at times how to pray and need the Holy Spirit himself to intercede for us.
KJV says: ” groanings that cannot be uttered.”
In other words we need God to move through us and in us, on such a deep level that it is literally gut wrenching and soul changing. To find and achieve this kind of deep interaction with God, we must get our eyes off the person we are praying about and onto God completely. He is the only object worthy of our deepest attention & affection anyway. We can let the person have the thoughts that only God deserves without realizing it, if we think too much about them. So we consciously forgive, in obedience as honestly as we can; and then enter deep intercessory prayer to seek the Lord directly.
Dealing with Him (Jesus), we can come to much deeper resolve than just trying to deal with them (the person).

So, it’s all right to come to the point in prayer where you know:
“The Lord will have to deal with him. All I can deal with is the Lord.”

This will keep a person that we are struggling with, from dwelling in thoughts that truly only belong to the Lord. And God’s Spirit can move in ways of forgiveness and holiness that we are not capable without His deep inner working(s).

In this way, God can move in Channels of mercy, grace and tolerance that is just beyond us otherwise.
And the fruit of the offense of the person can actually be a deeper relationship with God for us. If we are willing to seek Him in this way.

Slam-
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Matthew 6: 9-13 NMB

Our Father who art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy name.

10 Thy kingdom come.

Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

11 Give us this day our daily bread.

12 And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us.

13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.